Rushing through life: The secret to being kind under pressure

A morning rush can create a day-long tone. You skip breakfast and dash out the door. Someone holds the elevator, but you don’t even acknowledge them with a thanks. It’s not that you’re a terrible person – you just don’t have time.

In a new study, researchers set out to investigate whether we are less kind to others when we are in a hurry. And if so, can we remain kind when life is going too fast?

As it turns out, the answer is yes – but with a catch. Rushing around really does make us less pleasant people in everyday life. But there is a tool that can allow us to keep calm and be kind: mindfulness.

What does it really mean to be nice?

The study wasn’t about helping people move furniture or volunteering at a shelter. It looked at something much smaller – and more common.

Being nice, in this case, means being warm and friendly to improve someone else’s mood. Think of smiling at a cashier, thanking someone sincerely, or saying hi to a coworker just to brighten their day. It’s not the same as being polite.

Politeness often follows social rules. Niceness is more personal – it’s about caring how someone feels. We run into these moments dozens of times a day. Unlike big acts of kindness, they don’t cost us anything. But they matter.

The research behind the rush

Psychologist Olga Białobrzeska and doctoral candidate Dawid Żuk at SWPS University wanted to know how time pressure affects these everyday interactions.

The team ran four studies with 722 participants. The first study looked at what people believe: Are folks less nice when they’re in a hurry? Most said yes.

But beliefs don’t always match reality. So the researchers conducted more studies to test what really happens when people are rushing.

Testing kindness while rushing

In one of the studies, participants were asked to recall moments in their lives when they were in a hurry. Another group thought about relaxing moments.

Both groups faced the same situation: they had to say “no” to a friend’s uncomfortable request. The rushed group admitted their refusals were less kind and more blunt.

In another experiment, participants had to do a task on a computer – some under time pressure, others with no rush. During the task, they were interrupted by a stranger. Once again, the people under pressure were less nice, and even the stranger noticed the difference.

Finally, in the last study, participants described how rushed they’d felt recently and how nice they’d been to others. This time, the researchers added something new: a mindfulness test.

Mindfulness can break the pattern

Mindfulness means paying attention to what’s happening around you and how you feel in the moment. It’s simply noticing. And here’s where things got interesting during the last trial.

People who scored high on mindfulness didn’t show the same link between hurrying and being less nice. They were able to stay kind, even when life sped up.

That doesn’t mean mindfulness erases stress. But it seems to protect our ability to be decent humans, even when we’re late or overwhelmed.

“Everyday niceness – small, friendly gestures – is crucial for our well-being and interpersonal relationships. Our research shows that people are less nice when they are in a hurry than when they have time and feel relaxed,” said Białobrzeska.

“In today’s fast-paced lives, where people are often in a hurry, this result is especially important. Our research also points to mindfulness as a possible way to maintain niceness, even under pressure.”

Kindness during the real life rush

Białobrzeska noted that, just as the “slow food” movement has changed our approach to eating, it is time to rethink the way we live.

“Promoting a slower lifestyle – be it in schools, workplaces, or through social campaigns – offers the opportunity for more niceness, better relationships, and improved well-being.”

We won’t always have time. But we can still choose to notice. We can slow down just enough to look someone in the eye. Say thank you like we mean it. Treat people like they matter – because they do.

The full study was published in the journal Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology.

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