Grandparents play a big role in shaping kids’ screen habits
10-21-2025

Grandparents play a big role in shaping kids’ screen habits

Grandparents have long been part of the “village” it takes to raise kids. These days, that includes something new – screens.

From cartoons and video games to endless YouTube videos, grandparents are often the ones making quick calls about what’s okay and what’s not.

It’s not just about keeping kids busy. The choices grandparents make around screen time can shape how kids learn, think, and spend their time – and those choices are starting to matter more than most people realize.

Grandparents follow parents’ lead

Grandparents are involved in kids’ lives more than ever. Many take care of their grandkids weekly or even daily. And with screens everywhere, that means they’re making media choices constantly.

But instead of going in blind, most grandparents actually take cues from the parents – using what the researchers call “secondary mediation.”

Secondary mediation is when caregivers, like grandparents, manage children’s screen time by applying someone else’s rules or strategies. In most cases, these rules come from the parents.

Researchers found that grandparents don’t just make up their own system. They often supervise media use by following instructions passed down by the child’s parent.

That could mean enforcing screen-time limits, watching shows together, or steering kids away from certain games or videos.

A closer look at who’s doing what

The study was conducted by professors from Rutgers University and Ben-Gurion University of the Negev in Israel. The team focused on 267 pairs of grandmothers and mothers of children ages four to eight.

The grandmothers answered questions in phone interviews, while the mothers completed an online survey.

The researchers separated screen use into two main types. Noninteractive use includes watching shows, movies, or videos – anything where the child isn’t actively participating.

Interactive use involves video games and other online activities that require clicking, movement, or decision-making.

The analysis revealed that grandparents were more likely to step in and guide noninteractive use than interactive use. In other words, they were more likely to talk about a TV show than to sit and play a game with their grandchild.

Different people, different approaches

Even though many grandparents follow the rules set by parents, it’s not always cut-and-dried.

Whether a grandmother sticks to the rules – or whether a mother listens to her own mother’s advice – depends on several things. These include how close the two women are, how confident the grandmother feels with technology, how much time she spends with the child, and her education level.

Some grandparents stick tightly to the script. Others feel more relaxed and may let a few things slide. And in some families, the grandmother’s voice carries real weight. She may even influence what rules are created in the first place.

There is extensive research showing that parents mediate children’s media use through various strategies, including limiting screen time, supervising content, discussing media use, and co-viewing or co-playing with their children.

“But little attention has been paid to the role of grandparents who regularly care for their grandchildren,” said researcher Dafna Lemish.

“Are grandparents also engaged in mediating media use? Do they follow some rules set by the parents? Do they tend to ‘spoil’ their grandchildren by taking a more lenient approach to their media use? As a grandmother myself, I felt particularly drawn to these questions.”

Small choices, lasting effects

Kids are growing up in a media-heavy world, and how they interact with screens shapes how they think, feel, and relate to others.

Grandparents can help reduce the negative effects like violence, bullying, misinformation, and stereotypes. At the same time, they can boost the good stuff: learning, creativity, and emotional growth.

“Understanding the role grandparents play in mediating children’s media use is important,” Lemish said, “because there is substantial evidence about the potential impact of media on children.”

Parents and grandparents need to talk

The study’s authors said that screen time rules don’t transfer perfectly from parent to grandparent. It’s not like passing down a recipe. How well those rules get followed depends on relationships, comfort with tech, and time spent together.

“It is also important that parents and grandparents share similar approaches to media use, reinforce each other, and avoid creating internal conflicts,” Lemish said.

She also had this advice for families: “I recommend talking with each other about your views on the role of media in your children’s lives and create shared understanding and values about media consumption that takes into consideration the characteristics of the child, the circumstances; and the content of the media.”

“Agree on what rules related to media consumption you would like to apply, and also on the circumstances when there could be some deviation from them.”

The full study was published in the journal Journal of Aging Studies.

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