Helping friends can boost happiness and mood in older adults

Helping a close friend with everyday tasks is tied to a small, steady lift in older adults’ daily mood. The link shows up in real life, not just in surveys or lab studies.

Researchers at the University of Michigan (UM) conducted a study focused on 180 older adults living in and around Austin, Texas. The results point to a simple idea – small acts for friends can make each day brighter.

Helping close friends

Study participants were asked to report their mood every few hours over several days and to note any help they gave a close friend. They completed short surveys throughout the day.

The participants logged three kinds of help. Emotional support was most common, followed by advice and hands-on tasks. On days when people helped with errands or chores, their positive mood was higher.

Men were less likely than women to give emotional support to friends. The team also tested within person patterns, looking at changes inside the same person from day to day.

The research was led by Crystal Ng from the University of Michigan Survey Research Center. Her team included collaborators at Michigan State University and The University of Texas at Austin (UT).

How men differed from women

Older men were less likely to provide emotional support, listening, empathy, or talking through feelings. When they did, their positive mood tended to be lower that day, a pattern not seen in women.

“Offering emotional support to friends may be linked to a lower positive mood for older men, possibly due to expressing empathy or discussing emotions. It may conflict with masculine role expectations, leading to discomfort or emotional strain,” said Ng.

This pattern does not mean emotional support is bad for men. It suggests that how support is given, and how it fits identity and habits, can matter for how people feel afterward.

The new findings align with work showing that older adults often keep friendships through shared activity. That style may fit some men better than heart to heart talks.

Helping friends for a mood boost

Helping with errands, rides, or chores is active and goal focused. It can affirm competence and usefulness. Giving advice can also help the helper feel effective, and this has been linked to better mood in older adults.

Earlier research linked support exchanges with friends to greater well-being at the end of the day. Friends are chosen ties, so help may feel more voluntary and less obligatory.

Practical help usually has clear edges. The task ends, the result is visible, and the helper can step away. That structure can reduce the emotional load.

Not every helping act will land the same way. Context, the history of the friendship, and the helper’s own energy all play a role.

What this means for aging

Some programs try to boost older adults’ well-being by adding social time. The new data point to another route, build more chances to help, especially in ways that feel comfortable.

For many men, activity-based support, centered on doing things together, may be a better fit.

Spending time together in person still matters. A recent analysis found that in-person contact was tied to lower loneliness in older adults, while phone and digital contact were not as effective.

Even brief contact with weak ties, acquaintances rather than close friends, was associated with less loneliness.

Most people over 50 report at least one close friend, but there are gaps by health status, which shape who has chances to give or get help. National poll data show 90 percent have at least one close friend.

Being with friends can also ease physical strain in the moment. For example, a report from the National Institutes of Health reveals that older adults have lower odds of fatigue and stress when they are with a friend or neighbor versus being alone.

Study limitations and next steps

The study cannot prove that helping causes better mood – only that the two move together within the same person over time.

Measures came from brief self reports, which are reliable for momentary feelings but still rely on memory and honesty. The sample lived in one metro area, which may limit how far the patterns apply.

The work also focused on close friends, not looser circles where norms differ. Future studies could track when helping tips into strain.

A simple takeaway is to make it easy for older adults to lend a hand in tangible ways, while also providing options for those who prefer to act rather than just offer emotional support.

The study is published in the journal Research on Aging.

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