Mother’s affection shapes a child's personality into adulthood

What makes us who we are? Is it our DNA, our childhood, or a mix of both? For decades, scientists and philosophers have debated how much early life shapes adult personality. A new study suggests that something as simple as maternal affection may quietly steer our path.

Affectionate mothering in childhood may do more than bring comfort – it may influence traits that shape success in school, relationships, and health. This insight comes from a rigorous study published in American Psychologist, led by Professor Jasmin Wertz of the University of Edinburgh.

By analyzing how children were parented and how they turned out at 18, the team shed new light on the subtle power of early care.

How mother’s affection shapes personality

Personality traits like openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness matter. These traits don’t just determine whether someone is polite or curious – they predict major life outcomes. Research has shown they link to academic achievement, job performance, mental health, and even physical health.

That’s why researchers have taken a growing interest in personality not as something fixed, but as something that can evolve with experience. While past studies hinted at parenting’s influence on personality, few could separate it from genetics or broader family context.

“Personality traits are strong predictors of important life outcomes, from academic and career success to health and well-being,” said Dr. Jasmin Wertz, a professor of psychology at the University of Edinburgh and the study’s lead author.

Parenting’s impact on personality

To truly isolate parenting’s effects, Dr. Wertz and colleagues studied 2,232 British twins, including many identical (monozygotic) pairs.

These twins share 100% of their DNA and grew up in the same households. That makes them ideal for teasing apart the role of environment – especially the differences in how each twin was parented.

Between ages 5 and 10, mothers participated in structured interviews where they were asked to talk about each child for five minutes. The interviews captured spontaneous expressions of warmth and dissatisfaction. Coders rated the tone and content to assess how affectionate each mother was toward each twin.

Later, when the twins turned 18, trained observers and family members rated their personalities using the Big Five framework: openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism.

Mother’s affection linked to openness

Children who received more maternal affection were more likely to become open, conscientious, and agreeable by age 18. These effects were small but statistically significant – even after adjusting for maltreatment, childhood behavior, and family support at 18.

Twins with more affectionate treatment than their co-twin scored higher on the three traits that support learning, cooperation, and long-term success.

“Our findings suggest that fostering positive parenting environments in early childhood could have a small but significant and lasting impact on the development of these crucial personality traits,” said Dr. Wertz.

These results held not just in the full sample but even within identical twin pairs. That means the differences can’t be explained by shared genes or family setting – they reflect parenting alone.

Why conscientiousness matters most

Among the three traits, conscientiousness stands out for its long-term value. People high in this trait tend to be organized, responsible, and reliable. They do better in school, avoid health risks, and thrive in the workplace.

Because of this, even modest increases in conscientiousness could improve public health and economic outcomes at a national scale. Affectionate parenting may thus play an important role in shaping not just individuals but society as a whole.

The study’s authors suggest that policies promoting supportive parenting could have long-reaching benefits. These might include income support, mental health treatment for parents, and programs that help families strengthen emotional bonds.

“There are many proven ways to support parents, such as policies that improve a family’s financial situation; access to treatment for parents who struggle with mental health problems such as depression; and parenting programs that help parents build stronger relationships with their children,” said Dr. Wertz.

Personality traits and mother’s affection

The study also explored extraversion and neuroticism. In the broader sample, mother’s affection seemed to relate to these personality traits. But when genetic and environmental confounds were removed by comparing identical twins, the effects disappeared.

This suggests that parenting may not have a strong or lasting impact on how outgoing or emotionally sensitive someone becomes. Instead, other influences – such as peers, later life experiences, or even therapy – might play a bigger role.

The authors note that neuroticism, despite being tied to early mental health issues, may not respond to affectionate parenting alone. However, interventions later in life can still help.

Study rules out other causes

One strength of the study lies in its cautious, thorough approach. The researchers tested whether other factors could explain the results. They controlled for child behavior at age five to rule out the possibility that more agreeable children simply receive better parenting.

The experts also looked at the impact of childhood maltreatment and support from family at age 18. None of these factors changed the main outcome. Maternal affection remained linked to stronger personality traits.

“This research provides valuable evidence for the potential of parenting programs to influence critical aspects of personality development,” said Dr. Wertz.

“However, it also highlights the need for a nuanced understanding of how different factors, including genetics, parenting and life experiences, interact to shape who we are.”

A subtle yet powerful influence

While the effects of affectionate parenting on personality are not huge, they are consistent. And they come from a study design that few can match in terms of clarity.

Even small shifts in personality can lead to noticeable gains when seen across an entire population. This is especially true for traits that boost health, learning, and cooperation.

“By targeting parenting practices that promote positive traits in childhood, it may be possible to reduce disparities in life outcomes associated with socioeconomic background, family dynamics and other environmental factors,” said Dr. Wertz.

Early care, lifelong consequences

The link between personality traits and mother’s affection reminds us that the small things we do for children may echo for years. A kind word, a warm tone, a moment of encouragement – they do not just comfort in the moment. They can shape who a child becomes.

In a world searching for effective, scalable ways to improve lives, these findings bring attention back to one of the oldest tools we have: love and attention in early childhood.

Affection, though simple, may be one of the most powerful investments a society can make.

The study is published in the journal American Psychologist.

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