Negative relationships linked to faster aging at the cellular level

Many people experience relationships that bring more stress than happiness. These strained relationships can influence aging and speed up the aging process.

Psychologists have long known that strong social ties affect how long we live. One review even suggests that social isolation affects mortality as much as obesity or lack of exercise.

Quality of relationships matters as much as quantity. In 2012, researchers at the University of Utah found that “frenemies” – ambivalent relationships – may shorten telomeres faster.

These chromosome caps shorten naturally with age and are linked to diseases such as heart disease.

How stress changes your body

Byungkyu Lee at New York University and colleagues used DNA methylation marks to measure aging. These tiny chemical changes influence how genes work. “As we age, the pattern of these marks shifts in predictable ways,” said Lee.

The study involved 2,232 people who provided saliva samples for epigenetic testing. Participants also described their relationships, answering questions like, “How often has X hassled you, caused problems, or made life difficult?”

Anyone who answered “occasionally” or “often” was labeled a “hassler.”

Stressful relationships age you faster

Over half the participants had at least one hassler in their network. “Over half of adults report having at least one hassler among their closest contacts,” said Lee.

Each hassler was associated with 0.5 percent faster biological aging. This means affected individuals were, on average, 2.5 months biologically older than their chronological age.

The latest research shows that when hasslers make up more than 50 percent of a person’s network, the acceleration of aging is even greater. Ambivalent hasslers, those who both provide support and cause stress, have the strongest impact.

Purely negative ties, in contrast, seem less harmful because people can distance themselves from these relationships.

Stress harms mind and body

Negative ties may increase chronic stress, which raises inflammation and disrupts immune function. This persistent stress can elevate cortisol and other hormones, damaging health over time.

Lee’s team found higher levels of inflammation and epigenetic dysregulation in those with many hasslers, showing how relationships directly affect the body’s biological systems.

The effects extend beyond aging markers. People with more hasslers report worse general, physical, and mental health. They also have higher anxiety and depression scores and more chronic conditions like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and sleep problems.

Negative ties are linked with higher waist-to-hip ratios, increased BMI, and more multimorbidity. These strained relationships can weaken resilience, make illnesses harder to recover from, and even reduce overall life expectancy.

Group relationships help

Alex Haslam from the University of Queensland believes group belonging can outweigh the impact of a few negative ties.

“For example, if I am a member of a book club or a choir, it will be my identification with the group as a whole that affects my health, not how well I get on with its individual members.”

The complexity of ambivalent relationships makes them particularly damaging. Unpredictable relationships cause ongoing mental and physiological strain.

People may not be able to avoid these ties, especially when they involve family or long-term friends.

Fixing relationships can slow age

Negative relationships, especially those that shift between support and criticism, act as powerful chronic stressors. These ties trigger the body’s stress systems repeatedly, raising cortisol and inflammation, which can speed up biological aging and damage overall health.

Unlike purely negative relationships that people can often avoid, ambivalent ties are harder to escape because they also provide emotional support. This unpredictability makes them particularly harmful, causing continuous psychological strain and physiological wear.

To improve health and slow aging, it is not enough to address loneliness or cut off overtly harmful ties. Future interventions should help people identify and manage ambivalent relationships while strengthening positive, supportive connections.

Programs that teach conflict resolution, set boundaries, and encourage healthier communication could reduce the toll these complex relationship ties take.

By focusing on both reducing relationship strain and nurturing trust-based social networks, we can promote better mental and physical well-being and healthier aging across the lifespan.

The study is published in the journal medRxiv.

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