Why our relationships with dogs matter so much

In many households today, dogs hold a place of deep affection. Some are treated like children, others like confidants or even life partners. This emotional closeness reflects a massive shift from their original role as workers and guards.

In Western societies, dogs now often serve as companions – sometimes even as stand-ins for human children. But how accurate is this comparison? Can our relationships with dogs really be equated to the ties we have with our family or friends?

To explore this, researchers from ELTE Eötvös Loránd University conducted a deep study. They compared human-dog relationships to human relationships using a robust, multi-scale psychological tool. Their findings offer a complex picture of how dogs fit into our social fabric.

These bonds are not only real and profound – they may, in some ways, be even more satisfying than the ones we form with other people.

Our immense love for dogs

Instead of relying on vague labels like “pet” or “family member,” the study used 13 distinct relationship traits. These included measures of companionship, nurturance, intimacy, affection, support, satisfaction, and conflict.

Over 700 participants assessed their relationships with their favorite dog and four key human figures: a child, romantic partner, best friend, and closest relative.

The results showed that owners often rated their relationships with dogs as more satisfying than those with human partners. Dogs came close to children in nurturance and support and outscored all other human categories in companionship and low conflict.

They were seen as highly affectionate, deeply trusted, and emotionally reliable. One important factor, though, was the power dynamic – humans hold total control in the dog-owner relationship.

“Unlike in human relationships, dog owners maintain full control over their dogs, as they make most of the decisions,” said Enikő Kubinyi, senior author of the study and head of the Department of Ethology at ELTE.

“The results highlight that dogs occupy a unique place in our social world – offering the emotional closeness of a child, the ease of a best friend, and the predictability of a relationship shaped by human control – revealing why our bonds with them are often so deeply fulfilling.”

We love dogs like kids

The study’s comparison was both qualitative and quantitative. On the emotional side, dogs combined the comfort of a child-like bond with the harmony of a best friendship.

Unlike humans, dogs didn’t trigger intense conflicts or bring emotional drama into the mix. Owners felt more admired, supported, and secure in these relationships.

In a measure of overall similarity, relationships with dogs were most like those with children. The researchers calculated a distance index using all 13 traits.

They found that while the dog-child connection was closest, it still had distinct differences. Romantic partners and best friends followed, with closest kin relationships being least similar in emotional pattern to relationships with dogs.

This adds nuance to our understanding of the roles that dogs play. They aren’t mere substitutes for humans, nor are they emotional fillers. Dogs inhabit a social role of their own, crafted through daily life, dependence, and the unique structure of human-animal communication.

The dynamics of dog ownership

The satisfaction owners feel in their dog relationships may partly arise from predictability.

Dogs cannot question us, leave us, or demand equality. The power imbalance is significant. Owners make the decisions, choose when and how interactions happen, and set the limits of affection and discipline.

This aspect contributes to the lower levels of conflict reported in the study. Dogs were seen as less antagonistic than children, romantic partners, or kin. Only best friends came close to matching dogs in the domain of peaceful coexistence.

Still, the researchers emphasized that this is not about domination. It is about emotional simplicity. Dogs provide support without the complicated layers that often arise in human relationships. They meet social needs with remarkable consistency.

How age influences relationships

The study also examined how life circumstances influence dog relationships. Owners without children reported stronger bonds with their dogs. They scored higher in affection, intimacy, and companionship. For these individuals, dogs may serve as emotional stand-ins or trusted confidants.

Puppies evoked more child-like feelings. Owners reported more care-taking behavior, stronger affection, and greater emotional dependence.

Adult dogs, on the other hand, were rated more like friends – reliable, emotionally steady, and low in conflict. Still, these differences were modest. The essential shape of the dog-human relationship remained stable across ages.

Age of the owner also played a role. Younger people tended to form more intimate and expressive relationships with their dogs. Yet again, this did not shift the overall pattern too much. The dog-human bond was remarkably resilient.

Social needs and the myth of substitution

One of the most powerful findings was that dog relationships do not compensate for failed human bonds. Instead, they complement them.

Strong relationships with dogs were positively correlated with strong human ties. This goes against the stereotype that people with few friends turn to animals for solace.

“We expected that people with weak human relationships would rely more on their dogs for support, but our results contradict this,” said co-author Dorottya Ujfalussy.

What this means is that dogs are woven into a larger social network. They aren’t a fallback plan – they’re a chosen addition. They provide a kind of support that blends loyalty, affection, and daily routine, all on terms largely defined by the owner.

Why dogs defy categorization

The research highlights the limitations of how we traditionally classify our pets.

Calling a dog a “family member” or “child” may reflect emotional closeness, but it oversimplifies a far more layered bond. These labels are shaped by culture, social media, and shifting norms – not by any precise understanding of what dogs mean to us.

Instead, the researchers proposed viewing dogs as sources of “social provisions.” This model maps the relationship using established psychological traits. It helps clarify how dogs provide companionship, relieve stress, support autonomy, and offer comfort during hard times.

“Dogs offer different kinds of emotional and social support depending on the needs of their owners,” explained Borbála Turcsán, first author of the study.

“Some people seek companionship and fun, others need trust and stability, and some simply enjoy having someone to care for.”

Dogs create emotionally stable relationships

The human-dog relationship is one of the most stable and rewarding social ties that people experience. It has elements of parenting, friendship, mentorship, and guardianship. It thrives on shared routines, mutual affection, and emotional simplicity.

Despite cultural shifts, changing family structures, and technological distractions, dogs remain close to our hearts. They don’t just fit into our lives – they reshape our emotional landscape. This study reveals why.

By rethinking dogs not just as pets, but as emotionally intelligent partners in our social world, we gain a better grasp of why our love for them runs so deep.

The study is published in the journal Scientific Reports.

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